in a lovely little gray stuffed chair in Delaney's room, It's situated at one end of her white convertible crib. Her chest of drawers faces me with very little room left inside. Her closet is behind me mostly organized by size and season and it too is packed pretty tight. Her room is dim and a soothing shade of lilac as butterflies hang from the ceiling, White wooden letters spell out her name above the crib. We've hung book shelves and displayed some favorite books; ones I cannot wait to read to her with silly voices and warm cuddles. Some stuffed animals adorn the shelves and the fabric "buckets" sitting around the room. And some very special gifts are displayed awaiting for her arrival. It's been a long time coming to this point. Lots of preparation.
You see, tonight marks exactly 8 years that we began this adoption process. It was July 15th, 2006 that we made the commitment on paper to begin this process. The process to bring home a child and grow our family through adoption.
This room reminds me lot of mine when I was young, white furniture, pale colors, lots of stuffed animals and books, soothing lights. I pray this room brings her comfort. I pray she's not troubled by nightmares or sad memories of the past that I can't fix or understand. I know I can't wish away all the bad, nor would it be healthy. It's the struggles in life and the hardships that force us to grow and propel us toward needing something bigger and stronger than ourselves. Like God. In that respect I hope she comes to know God early in life. That she will be quickly grounded in the Truth and never depart from it. This is ultimately the most important thing for her.
Yeah the many books, clothes, toys, and stuffed animals that await her are all from people that await her arrival. People who have prayed for her and for us. We're very thankful for these things, but mostly thankful for the prayers that have held us up over the last 8 years. This wait has not been easy and now its coming down to the last few weeks before our world changes forever, and hers too. I keep having to remind myself that she is not eagerly packing bags and making plans to join our family. She has no concept of families, airplanes and hardly the idea of adoption. She's such a tender unmolded Little Person that will soon be transformed and influenced by so many things beyond her control. Yet so brave, how many of us could leave all we know and take up life with a complete stranger and make a home on a foreign land where we don't understand the language and nothing looks or smells familiar. There's not much comfort in that. Not a choice many would make.
But we're asking that of her, to accept us as her family as Mama and Baba, to make all her decisions and to trust us. And why should she? We will need to prove ourselves over and over to her to gain her trust and love and convince her that we are a "Forever Family". It's my prayer that God is working in her little heart to let her know that we're okay, not perfect but okay. It'll take time and forgiveness, trial and error but I pray she's patient with us as we learn this new parenthood thing. Delaney Grace He Mei please know that there is a God in Heaven that is bigger and more powerful than any of us and He can handle any situation. He is joining us from complete opposite sides of the world to become a family. Your God has known you since before the foundation of the world and He has loved you and set your course. And Mommy and Daddy have loved you since God put the idea of you in our hearts and we will do all we can to keep you on the course He has set for you. We love you and we will be there soon. . . .
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