Happy 75 Month LID Anniversary!!

Today marks 75 months of being logged in and waiting for our Little One.  Gee, 75 should be a speed limit, not the length of time we've waited to adopt!  Well, rumor has it that the CCCWA has gotten through two days worth of LID's and that gets us to October 19th of 2006.  Getting closer but still a disappointingly small batch this month.  One the bright side, the CCCWA released referrals twice this month, on the 1st and again today despite the week long holiday they usually take to celebrate Chinese New Year.  Which reminds me, Happy Belated Chinese Lunar New Year!!! It's now the year of the Snake!!!

February 2012 Highlights

The first part of February always evokes a lot of emotion at our house.  It’s the anniversary of Larry’s surgery and we always find ourselves thinking about that a lot, melancholy and thankful all at once.  We praise God again for clear results and again this year in 2013. He has already had an MRI and once again, God continues to bless our household.  We are so unworthy of God’s goodness yet so thankful we are covered by Jesus’ righteousness.

During February 2012, I helped my adorable niece and her friend prep for the Valentine dance, my sister-in-law and I did hair and makeup for them, what fun to be in 7^th grade!!!!  They are good girls and drama free- they tend to avoid that and I’m proud of them as that’s hard to do this day and age.

I had some moles removed in February (elective) and that turned out well.  I’m gonna be an older  mama so I want to give my daughter fewer reasons to think her mom is old, frumpy, and certainly not  mole covered, ha ha

The later part of February 2012 took a sad turn.  Our precious Meeka dog woke us one night having a seizure and that was truly dreadful.  It was 12  years ago the same month that Larry had woke me up with the same thing.  Too close, and such a brutal flashback.  The vet determined it could have been  a one time thing or the beginning of epilepsy but we just had to wait and see.  I have many thoughts and journal entries regarding this that I just cannot put into words again. So sad, the year starts so gloomy.  Well stay tuned for more 2012 highlights. 

Year in Review 2012- Trying it again.

Okay so last January 1^st 2012, I began a journal.  I used a nice leather bound journal with just the right size lines on which to write, a flexible spine to make it easy to write, and it was red in color to commemorate the “good luck” of China. 

So what happened?  Well, I journaled tirelessly for the first 3 months.  Documenting daily events, looking back, most of those dreadfully boring.  The purpose of the journal was so we could have documentation of the day our daughter was born.  Although a million miles away(sort of, not really) this is a way I felt connected to her and thought it would be wonderful to be able to know what we were doing around the time of her birth.  There is so much of her history that will be missing so I thought this would be one way to fill in some gaps.  Looking back now  I don’t know that she will be so thrilled  to know what un-monumental life we live on a daily basis.  Therefore, after March  my lengthy, boring, over-detailed or short under- detailed entries became too cumbersome and ineffective.  The journaling pretty much stopped and I began jotting things onto a calendar- which I am good at by the way.  So for the remainder of the year I used the calendar.  Not much you can write in a  ½ inch square but it forces you to hit the highlights.  Unfortunately sometimes it forces you to abbreviate too and I’m not sure all those entries are decipherable. Nonetheless, paired with my iphone history and the chronology of the pics I took on my phone I’m gonna attempt to recreate for myself the High-lights of 2012.    We’ll see if I can figure out this madness.  Here is the first recap:

Highlights 2012 as recalled from my iphone and pocket calendar:

January 2012 Highlights

Well, the year started with my birthday and a winter hike at one of my favorite places.  We tried out a new trail and saw some pretty rock formations and lots of moss.  So green and fresh; love breathing that type of air!  I knew I was facing foot surgery in a  few months and wanted to take advantage of my mobility while I had it. 

By looking back at journal entries, cell phone pics and bookmarks I had set,  it looks like the year started with a small snow.  There was focus on trying to find some allergy free dog treats for Miss Meeka.  She had such trouble with her skin and ears that I was able to find a carob chip cookie recipe and tried that out.  It made a large batch then we went back to our tried and true oreo-type carob ones from the store.  Less work and more palletable. 

I chose adoption blogs to follow each month and continued on my vicarious adoption journeys. 

  . . . See not terribly interesting.

 

 

74 Months have Come and Gone

As of  1-27-2013, we have been waiting on our sweet baby girl for 74 months- geesh!   On January 30^th we received word via internet that the CCCWA has matched families with children with an LID of 10-17-2006.  So we are moving along, with an LID of 11-27-06 we anticipate 6-9 months and we will see her precious face for the first time.  Will she look happy in her picture or perplexed?  Will she be wearing layers of clothing in her referral picture or just a light outfit?  Will the picture be taken of her inside or outside?  Will she be round or thin?  Lots of hair or none?  Teeth or no teeth?  Dark or light?  Which province?  What’s her birthday?  Oh so many questions, all to be answered soon, just not soon enough. 

Abandonment: Selfless or Selfish Choice

What does it feel like to be stripped of the familiar, the comfortable, the predictable?  What about on a deeper level? Alone? Betrayed? Cast aside?  Why does it happen?  Is it out of necessity, truly. Or  is it a choice someone has to make.  To abandon, to leave, to go separate ways.  If it is a choice, then is it selfish or selfless?  Or a little of both. 

Awoke at 4:00 a.m. with this on my heart.  Recent circumstances have caused me to start to examine this very topic.  In the case with adoption, it’s not politically correct to say a child was abandoned; because it has such a negative connotation.  It is appropriate ; however, to say that the biological parent made a birth plan or adoption plan for the child they decide not to parent.  But in the case with international adoption, specifically China; abandonment is a known factor.  A family may be overwhelmed financially and cannot care for a child and therefore they leave the child in a location where they may be found.  The bio family expects they are doing the best thing and offering the child a hope at a brighter future.  Selfless?  I think so, doing the better thing for a child they love, especially when raising the child themselves may create much financial hardship and familial discord. The family may experience such continual distress and dysfunction and all involved  may suffer proper shelter and nutrition, and emotional support.  So is it ever just a necessity or is it a choice?  For example, to do something out of necessity usually means you have no other choice, it must be a certain way for all to experience the greater good. 

But what if it isn’t necessary? To abandon.  And it is truly a choice.  Then I think this is selfish.  If the choice to abandon is not born out of necessity for all parties to experience the greater good then I think it’s selfish.  There it is.  

Is it ever possible for the selfish choice to abandon to be a good thing, to have  a good outcome?  Sure, being in the care of someone who has little or no emotional attachment only prevents the person being cared for from learning to share love or be loved.  A person may be controlled this way, rendered emotionally inept.  They loose sense of self and become a puppet, doing what is expected of them sometimes just to survive.  Or  they act in a way that will bring them the least amount of discomfort.   When these persons are abandoned they are given a new opportunity to  trust and love.  When left this way,  it is no longer a selfish act; for the person being left is given the gift of freedom.