Thursday night when I tucked our Little One in her crib it was much like most nights. Usually after singing a few songs in the living room and under her direction (pointing and folding her hands in a sleeping position beside her ear) we head off to her room. I put her lullaby butterfly on her chair where she can reach it and she selects the song to play and the color of lighted stars that illuminate onto the ceiling. She carefully backs up in the dark and sits in my lap and folds her little hands in prayer. We pray and she ends with a sleepy "Amen."
This is the routine every night, I then pick her up and set her in her crib and she grabs her blankie and sticks her thumb in her mouth, we say goodnight, lights out, and sweet slumber begins. However, Thursday night as I lifted her into her crib, she stopped me and gave me a sweet and tender kiss and followed with, drumroll please . . . "no new". That's Delaney for "love you"!!!! Wow, spontaneous this time. The kissing isn't knew nor is the repetition of "love you". But this time she said it first. So sweet and seeming like she understood. Be still my heart, naturally I cried. God has given this Little One the capacity to give and receive love in such a big way!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Moses, the baby in a basket . . .
My sweet Little One came to me this morning with her Bible story book and pointed to the couch. It's a book we hadn't explored yet together. She is most interested in the animal books and the ones where we practice naming pictures. Anyway, we thumbed through the board book and I told stories as quickly as she could turn the page. "God made the world and all of creation, the sky and the stars and the moo, and Mama's and Dada's like Adam and Eve and all the animals like Penny . . and he made Noah, and he had Noah build a big boat called an ark, and we sing about that in the car, and he got two of every animal and then God shut the door on the boat, and yeah those are lions and they were gonna eat that man called Daniel, and that's Moses he became a great man for God". You get the picture, a very quick abbreviated version that continued with Jesus' birth and "He loves all the children and He healed a blind man by putting mud in his eyes and healed a sick lady when she touched his coat".
So at this point she closes the book and starts over and points to the sheep and the giraffes and the baby in a basket, Moses. She looks long and hard at that baby. I show her the Baby Jesus too but she goes back over and again to the baby Moses and keeps pointing to him in his basket. I cant't help but wonder what is going through her little mind.
Maybe nothing more than a baby in a basket to her but maybe it triggers something, maybe there is something resonating. Humble beginnings, beginnings of letting go and sacrifice and someone loving someone so much they put them in a basket to float the river to a better life. Moses' mother had no idea what would happen to Moses; I'm sure she hoped for his future and God then made a great man out of him.
I naturally thought of Delaney and her beginning, Her birth mother made a similar sacrifice, giving over but not knowing. Was a basket involved? I'll never know. I can't imagine the love she had for her, a love so big she could let go to improve her life. And I love her to an immeasurable amount, I can't even fathom. God knew what had to occur to bring her to this Earth and what had to happen for us to be graced with such a beautifully spirited child. He knows, and it's not up to me to speculate. He may choose to use her for His Kingdom's Glory.
So at this point she closes the book and starts over and points to the sheep and the giraffes and the baby in a basket, Moses. She looks long and hard at that baby. I show her the Baby Jesus too but she goes back over and again to the baby Moses and keeps pointing to him in his basket. I cant't help but wonder what is going through her little mind.
Maybe nothing more than a baby in a basket to her but maybe it triggers something, maybe there is something resonating. Humble beginnings, beginnings of letting go and sacrifice and someone loving someone so much they put them in a basket to float the river to a better life. Moses' mother had no idea what would happen to Moses; I'm sure she hoped for his future and God then made a great man out of him.
I naturally thought of Delaney and her beginning, Her birth mother made a similar sacrifice, giving over but not knowing. Was a basket involved? I'll never know. I can't imagine the love she had for her, a love so big she could let go to improve her life. And I love her to an immeasurable amount, I can't even fathom. God knew what had to occur to bring her to this Earth and what had to happen for us to be graced with such a beautifully spirited child. He knows, and it's not up to me to speculate. He may choose to use her for His Kingdom's Glory.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Yesterday . . . a first.
Delaney said her name yesterday! Well, sort of. It came out, "Da-nay-nay" But that's pretty close. I know we chose a big name for a little girl but she'll grow into it! We were visiting my mom who is still very sick with that nasty chest congestion stuff that's been plaguing so many people. Despite feeling bad my Mom entertained and played with Delaney for several hours after she woke from her nap. I took a cute video but Mom is so hoarse you can barely hear her. She and Delaney were playing with a bird figurine in the window seat and Delaney repeated what the bird said and as the bird said "Hello Delaney", she said it right back!.
Our little one is making such big strides. We're still having her evaluated to see if she may get help with language acquisition but her vocab has grown a lot since we've been home. She can repeat many words but doesn't offer a lot of them spontaneously. I can see in the past few days where she is growing more frustrated at us when she cannot get her point across and when we don't understand her. She will point and verbalize until we figure it out, at least she's persistent. She enjoys getting her chinese/english picture books and sitting on the couch with me as we repeat the words.
She is still sleeping through the night and has been in her crib since about a week after arriving home. She's goes down easily for naps and bed once we sing songs and pray and turn on her light up/lullaby butterfly. She's such a good girl and so affectionate.
On another note, she has really good rhythm so I am very happy and see some ballet in our future or maybe jazz, she's pretty spunky and likes to move. Larry is equally as thrilled that she seems to have a passion for animals and gets so excited when she sees a deer on television. She prances and points and squeals when she sees one. The other day she grabbed Larry's Buck Master magazine and tried to show it to the deer on television. She also imitates turkey and hoot owl noises in the car as well as some other predatory animals like coyote, really funny! She even puts her hands to her mouth like she's really calling! I'll leave you with a picture . . .
Our little one is making such big strides. We're still having her evaluated to see if she may get help with language acquisition but her vocab has grown a lot since we've been home. She can repeat many words but doesn't offer a lot of them spontaneously. I can see in the past few days where she is growing more frustrated at us when she cannot get her point across and when we don't understand her. She will point and verbalize until we figure it out, at least she's persistent. She enjoys getting her chinese/english picture books and sitting on the couch with me as we repeat the words.
She is still sleeping through the night and has been in her crib since about a week after arriving home. She's goes down easily for naps and bed once we sing songs and pray and turn on her light up/lullaby butterfly. She's such a good girl and so affectionate.
On another note, she has really good rhythm so I am very happy and see some ballet in our future or maybe jazz, she's pretty spunky and likes to move. Larry is equally as thrilled that she seems to have a passion for animals and gets so excited when she sees a deer on television. She prances and points and squeals when she sees one. The other day she grabbed Larry's Buck Master magazine and tried to show it to the deer on television. She also imitates turkey and hoot owl noises in the car as well as some other predatory animals like coyote, really funny! She even puts her hands to her mouth like she's really calling! I'll leave you with a picture . . .
 |
| Relaxing at home with "Pay-E" (Penny) |
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Weekend happenings . . . Ap-pools and Pu-yins
. . .yep, that's Delaney-ese for "apples" and "pumpkins". This past Saturday we went to a local apple orchard and then to find us some "exotic" pumpkins. We grew one from scratch accidentally in our flower garden this year. We failed to clean away our decaying pumpkins from the fall and after they turned to mush, we pitched them but evidently some little seeds remained and we got a nice size one for Delaney's first pumpkin!. Here are some pictures from the day . . .
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Orphanage Visit
Five weeks ago today we visited the Weinan Child Welfare Institute in Weinan City, Shaanxi Province, People's Republic of China. This is where our lovely little girl spent the first two and half years of her life. I still do not, nor will I ever understand this side of Heaven why she had to remain there as long as she did. Why couldn't we have brought her home within a few months? But God knows all about that and I'm not to question.
It was a day a lot like today, heavy rains at time and hot, very humid too just like all our days in China. I had chosen the outfit she'd wear this day long before we went to China. It was an outfit my Mom and I had bought in March on our first shopping trip for Delaney. We didn't buy it to be "the outfit" but it just sorta fit. For one, it had long pants and a hooded shirt. Not that she needed it, it was so hot, but yet the Chinese don't believe children should be exposed despite sweltering heat and obvious sweating. We were cautioned the night before that it would "cool down" and to make sure we brought warm clothes for her. Cool down to maybe the low '90's, are you kidding? I didn't care if the rain dropped the temps by 50 degrees, I'd been happy! But as directed we went on a special shopping spree to buy her a sweater, yeah, you read that right. And that experience is a story for a different day.
So we dressed warmly and got in the van with our guide and driver after our traditional breakfast at our Xi'an Ramada. I stared out the window as we traveled and couldn't help it; but I kept crying. Delaney slept and Larry and I both stared out the foggy windows into the rain. I couldn't help but think that the rain was appropriate this day as myself and the Heavens wept for this little girl. We were about to see where her life began and the only traceable part of her history we could ever know. I was so thankful she was with us and not going back and not going to grow up without parents. She had us now, whether she liked it or not. Maybe some day she'd figure out we're not too bad. Or would she hate us forever for taking us from the only life she knew. We looked different, sounded different, acted different, and maybe smelled different from anyone she'd ever known. How uncomfortable she must be. But right then, she was comfortable, sleeping in my arms with her little headband with the Chinese character for Love embroidered on one side. That was my touch, I thought and hoped the orphanage would find us respectful of their culture.
We arrived and were greeted eagerly and warmly as they ushered us out of the van and the rain. I was escorted to the director's office where I could stay with Delaney as Larry toured the facility. He and our guide took lots of wonderful pictures of her shared room, her crib, her nannies, her play area and beautifully decorated hallways where she likely traveled to get from room to room. We decided it was probably best she not see her old playmates, and living quarters, maybe just too much emotion or possible fear that she was returning. I stayed with Delaney alone in the office as nannies popped in and out calling her name and smiling and waving. She was already overwhelmed from entering the building and seeing some old faces and was terribly upset. I wanted the ladies to see her and vice versa but my heart hurt for her as I didn't know if she was scared or fearful or just wanted things to be the way they were, without us.
Larry and our guide returned and not a moment too soon, she'd already drunk her yogurt and I'd tried to entertain her with every toy in my bag. We had been looking out the window at a garden they'd planted in the courtyard and it was still pouring. So I had made a song to distract her, "corn, and bamboo, corn and bamboo, and rain came runnin' down the sidewalk". Yep, clever, huh? Not too melodic but it got us through.
One very touching thing that we were able to do was to have the nannies and orphanage director write a personal message to her in a book we'd taken, it was also the book that we put our official thumbprints and her footprint in on adoption day. Our guide later translated the sentiments so we will have those for her when she's older.
The orphanage was extremely clean and very bright and colorful. There was also a very pretty playground and fountain outside as well. I am pleased she was living in such a nice place and the staff were very kind and obviously cared a lot about her by the number that came to see her and the way we were received. Even the little ones in her room were brought to a balcony area to wave goodbye. So hard to see, but such a joyful little group of children. Could they even comprehend what was happening? Delaney was held by many of them that came to see her but quickly wanted to return to Mama, thank goodness! Honestly that made my heart a little fearful each time someone held her, what if she didn't want me back? There are other details from the day as we later drove further into the city, and there was a lot of emotion and some turning points that day but not all details are meant to be shared. This is all part of her story, I'm sharing parts I don't think she'd mind to share. But I want to protect her and her privacy, as she matures the rest will be at her discretion. Now for some pics . . .
It was a day a lot like today, heavy rains at time and hot, very humid too just like all our days in China. I had chosen the outfit she'd wear this day long before we went to China. It was an outfit my Mom and I had bought in March on our first shopping trip for Delaney. We didn't buy it to be "the outfit" but it just sorta fit. For one, it had long pants and a hooded shirt. Not that she needed it, it was so hot, but yet the Chinese don't believe children should be exposed despite sweltering heat and obvious sweating. We were cautioned the night before that it would "cool down" and to make sure we brought warm clothes for her. Cool down to maybe the low '90's, are you kidding? I didn't care if the rain dropped the temps by 50 degrees, I'd been happy! But as directed we went on a special shopping spree to buy her a sweater, yeah, you read that right. And that experience is a story for a different day.
So we dressed warmly and got in the van with our guide and driver after our traditional breakfast at our Xi'an Ramada. I stared out the window as we traveled and couldn't help it; but I kept crying. Delaney slept and Larry and I both stared out the foggy windows into the rain. I couldn't help but think that the rain was appropriate this day as myself and the Heavens wept for this little girl. We were about to see where her life began and the only traceable part of her history we could ever know. I was so thankful she was with us and not going back and not going to grow up without parents. She had us now, whether she liked it or not. Maybe some day she'd figure out we're not too bad. Or would she hate us forever for taking us from the only life she knew. We looked different, sounded different, acted different, and maybe smelled different from anyone she'd ever known. How uncomfortable she must be. But right then, she was comfortable, sleeping in my arms with her little headband with the Chinese character for Love embroidered on one side. That was my touch, I thought and hoped the orphanage would find us respectful of their culture.
We arrived and were greeted eagerly and warmly as they ushered us out of the van and the rain. I was escorted to the director's office where I could stay with Delaney as Larry toured the facility. He and our guide took lots of wonderful pictures of her shared room, her crib, her nannies, her play area and beautifully decorated hallways where she likely traveled to get from room to room. We decided it was probably best she not see her old playmates, and living quarters, maybe just too much emotion or possible fear that she was returning. I stayed with Delaney alone in the office as nannies popped in and out calling her name and smiling and waving. She was already overwhelmed from entering the building and seeing some old faces and was terribly upset. I wanted the ladies to see her and vice versa but my heart hurt for her as I didn't know if she was scared or fearful or just wanted things to be the way they were, without us.
Larry and our guide returned and not a moment too soon, she'd already drunk her yogurt and I'd tried to entertain her with every toy in my bag. We had been looking out the window at a garden they'd planted in the courtyard and it was still pouring. So I had made a song to distract her, "corn, and bamboo, corn and bamboo, and rain came runnin' down the sidewalk". Yep, clever, huh? Not too melodic but it got us through.
One very touching thing that we were able to do was to have the nannies and orphanage director write a personal message to her in a book we'd taken, it was also the book that we put our official thumbprints and her footprint in on adoption day. Our guide later translated the sentiments so we will have those for her when she's older.
The orphanage was extremely clean and very bright and colorful. There was also a very pretty playground and fountain outside as well. I am pleased she was living in such a nice place and the staff were very kind and obviously cared a lot about her by the number that came to see her and the way we were received. Even the little ones in her room were brought to a balcony area to wave goodbye. So hard to see, but such a joyful little group of children. Could they even comprehend what was happening? Delaney was held by many of them that came to see her but quickly wanted to return to Mama, thank goodness! Honestly that made my heart a little fearful each time someone held her, what if she didn't want me back? There are other details from the day as we later drove further into the city, and there was a lot of emotion and some turning points that day but not all details are meant to be shared. This is all part of her story, I'm sharing parts I don't think she'd mind to share. But I want to protect her and her privacy, as she matures the rest will be at her discretion. Now for some pics . . .
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
From a sad Mama heart . . .
We explored the world of hair bows today and played with baby dolls and strollers. Delaney ate well and laughed a lot, she entertained us and her Grandma today. She wore many hats today and beads and had me wearing them too. She fed fries to her baby dolls and tried to get them to drink from her sippy. So why am I sad?
Well, she was resistant for her nap and bedtime tonight. She wanted to go in her bed alone or lay in the floor and suck her thumb. I'm sure these were her old ways of doing things and it breaks my heart. The way she did it without parents. But now she has parents and that's our job to provide comfort and security all day let alone at nap time and bed time. I sob while I type. Maybe today was just hard for her in some way I don't understand but I know there will be a time she doesn't need me to do these things for her and that breaks my heart. I know we've only had her a month but it feels my heart has never been without her. My God has filled our lives with this beautiful, smart, and affectionate little girl and I couldn't feel more blessed. I just need to be needed by her and maybe that's selfish and immature. But I'm not ready for her to outgrow me. I know, it's one day, it's one nap, but my heart hurts. Putting it in perspective, I'm thankful she's resting well and safely in her crib right now. Gonna put on my "big girl" britches and deal with it. We are to encourage independence and not foster unhealthy dependence on ourselves as parents. Yeah, I know but I wanna be the one she stretches her little arms too and I wanna be that shoulder she leans on to suck her thumb and I wanna feel her little prickly short hair under my chin as we cuddle. Right now I do have those things, it just wasn't today, hopefully tomorrow.
Well, she was resistant for her nap and bedtime tonight. She wanted to go in her bed alone or lay in the floor and suck her thumb. I'm sure these were her old ways of doing things and it breaks my heart. The way she did it without parents. But now she has parents and that's our job to provide comfort and security all day let alone at nap time and bed time. I sob while I type. Maybe today was just hard for her in some way I don't understand but I know there will be a time she doesn't need me to do these things for her and that breaks my heart. I know we've only had her a month but it feels my heart has never been without her. My God has filled our lives with this beautiful, smart, and affectionate little girl and I couldn't feel more blessed. I just need to be needed by her and maybe that's selfish and immature. But I'm not ready for her to outgrow me. I know, it's one day, it's one nap, but my heart hurts. Putting it in perspective, I'm thankful she's resting well and safely in her crib right now. Gonna put on my "big girl" britches and deal with it. We are to encourage independence and not foster unhealthy dependence on ourselves as parents. Yeah, I know but I wanna be the one she stretches her little arms too and I wanna be that shoulder she leans on to suck her thumb and I wanna feel her little prickly short hair under my chin as we cuddle. Right now I do have those things, it just wasn't today, hopefully tomorrow.
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