6 years!!!

We have officially been waiting for our Little One for 6 years now, yup, that's 72 months- a very long "pregnancy".  Today marks our 6 year LID anniversary as our dossier was registered in Beijing on November 27, 2006.
That sounds like forever ago but also seems like it hasn't been that long either; as life has gone on and not waited for us a bit.  We are 6 years older, still working the same jobs, but for me in a different  location.  We  sold our house and built a new one.  We have done a lot to free ourselves financially and with God's grace we've been successful in doing so.  We've lost a few family members and gained a great niece.  We lost our precious Meeka dog also during this time.  We've taken a few vacations, beach, mountains, trail riding, hiking and a little boating.  Our priorities have shifted a lot and we're more boring frugal and focused.  We've done lots of thinking and dreaming about our family to be.  Still worshiping our Lord at the same church but with many new people and some wonderful older saints. Still healthy praise be to God.  We've learned a lot more about China, its culture and a lot more do's and don'ts of parenting.  As we are finishing up our home study for the umpteenth time, it's nice to know this is the final set of paperwork that will used to "make" our family.  So China, let's see what the next 12 months has to offer!

October Re-cap

I know, it's already November but I just wanna give you a quick review. . .  I was supposed to have foot surgery but it was cancelled.  I got sick with allergy/sinus/ asthma crud the next week and was pretty much sick for the remainder of the month.  I spent two weeks sleeping on the couch, 2 days off work (should've been more), a round of antibiotics and I still have a dry hacky cough.
The weather has turned cooler and we've had some wonderful mild temp days and we've already had a 3-4 inch snowfall as well as some 80 degree days.  We've attended a farm festival and our church had a fall festival/day of celebration.  We've seen enormous growth in our church just since summer (Praise God) and a super great Youth Group with an awesome bunch of faithful leaders. We had 18 baptized on one Sunday!   We've begun Christmas play practice. Spent time with family and have tried to be obedient to what God has us do for others.
Adoption related news, yeah, I'm getting there.  We've seen some interesting things happen in the past few weeks.  We have met with our social worker twice this month, once for a safety audit and then for interviews.  This is the 4th time we've had to do a new home study as OH requires them to be done every two years, not to mention the in between updates we had to do for USCIS.  We've officially been waiting 71 months so you do the math.  This time it's a little more exciting as we are working with a new home study agency as we had to transfer because ours went out of business- don't worry, this isn't gonna delay anything and nothing bad is gonna happen, everything is proceeding as it should and if anything, a little better.  You see, I say we're excited because everything we do now brings us one step closer and God willing this will be the last time we have to update all this stuff.  So it's not like last year or the years before when we had to do all this but knew we'd have to repeat it in 2 years, 4 years, etc.   This will (fingers crossed) be our final update.  Now of course we will have a lot of paperwork prior to travel and post-placement paperwork once we return home- but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!! As part of our home study we had to spend an entire day completing Hague training and it was very interesting and very helpful; we learned a lot and it brought a lot of issues to the forefront that we hadn't examined real close- great training.  More about that at a later time.
And now, for the most exciting news . . . the CCCWA referred families through October 8th , 2006 so all families with an LID up to 10-8-06 have been matched with their babies!!!  This means they are finally in the month right before us!!! We are logged in November 27, 2006!!!! That means exactly 50 jellybeans are left in our jar and we are countin' them down.  (See jar from earlier post)  So it'll be exciting to how the rest of the year moves along.  Happy November everyone!

Passing of time . . .

It's hard to believe so much time has passed since we began this adoption journey.  It's fall already  and this year has sped by.  The one subject I've been thinking about a lot lately is contentment or being happy in the moment.  Maybe "happy" isn't such a good descriptor, more like, satisfied, comfortable, resting or at peace with life's circumstances.  You see, I'm a planner and I like to have things mapped out so I know what I'm doing from one weekend to the next or after work or more immediately, what I'm having for lunch or what I can get accomplished in a day.
There's nothing wrong with planning, as long as you aren't torn apart when your plans don't work out.  I'm not that way, sure I get disappointed but I'm pretty flexible.  I guess the struggle is more between contentment in the present versus anticipation of the future.  I realize ultimately that I am not in charge and my idea of how my day is gonna be, is merely and idea.  If I have a plan, then I can be prepared.  Therefore it may be more about being prepared than really having something planned.  I know that although I plan ahead it doesn't necessarily mean I'm unhappy with what's happening today.  So planning ahead and having your mind in the future is not the equivalent of being disconnected or unhappy with the present.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and occurs in God's timing.  So fretting and planning are not going to change the course God has for us.  Anticipation of future events is more of a faith and trust thing.  You look forward, anticipate, hope and expect things to happen.   Does that mean you're not happy with the part of the path you're on right now?  Nope, I don't think so, just means you're excited about what God has for you in the future and you are trusting that it will be revealed in His time and in His way.

Just remember that the path you walk right now has it's own aspects to be enjoyed.  God chose this path for you and not another.  There are things on this path for you to learn, enjoy, work through, and heal from.  While on your particular journey, don't watch your feet.  God has them and guides your every step; instead, get that chin up, look around, enjoy the view.  The journey is just as important as the destination.

In Honor of our Meeka Jo

Our sweet Meeka dog passed from this life one month ago today, Tuesday, July 24th, 2012.  Our house is quiet and lifeless and we have a huge hole in our hearts.  God continues to strengthen us every day and we can't thank Him enough for that.  Meeka gave us so much in the 7 1/2 years we had her with us.  God truly blessed us by allowing us to be her parents during that time.  We praise God for putting her in our lives for this season of time and we truly believe God had a purpose for her.  She came to us right after our last fertility treatment failed and has been our baby ever since.
We have speculated that our daughter in China will be born some time this year and so her season with us is now complete.  Albeit too short.  One never has enough time with those we love, now do we?
We plan to apply all the things she taught us about parenting as we embark on a new journey to parenthood with our soon-to-be daughter.  I think this could be one of the biggest accolades to her. In honor of her, and because of her, we hope to be better prepared for our new daughter.
 Meeka taught us so much about parenting,  like how to selflessly care for others.  Put your immediate needs aside- you can always have time for someone else.  We learned that love makes tough situations so much easier. She helped us recognize that tone of voice is just as important as what you say.  We learned that sometimes we need to take time to rest and rejuvenate.  She made seemingly unbearable situations very tolerable and even allowed us to see the humor.  She taught us that we really do have an unending capacity to love, no matter what comes our way.  She gave us so much joy and fulfillment and taught us the meaning of  "family" no matter the composition.
We still have an empty spot in our hearts and we miss her so very much.  We thank God for the mercy He showed her and the peace He provided to all of us during this difficult time, even in her final moments.  We also thank God for allowing the three of us to be together in those moments- He knew the questions and fears we would have and He provided answers and nothing but peace.
I don't feel I could ever write enough to convey how very special she was and how much we still love her.  She was a special puppy girl and unlike any dog I'd ever met.  She was our Meeka dog and I can't define it much differently.  She was a complete living example of her name.  She was power under control but would let you know when enough was enough.  She let us know when she was tired and had had enough, when her time had come.  On a regular basis she was submissive, yielding, and gentle.  She was affectionate but never intrusive- never would lick you in the face, rarely barked (maybe only about 5 times, really).  Meeka was described most often as "adorable" by people she'd meet as they inquired about her breed.  She traveled well and was such an easy going girl.  Even in the last months she was accepting and went with the flow, she adapted well and had a wonderful spirit about her.
We cannot say enough to describe how special she was to us and will forever be.  We shared so much as we walked the path of these last 7 1/2 years together.  We have so many wonderful memories and plan to apply all that she taught us.  There really is no way to memorialize her, she was a one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable, very special puppy girl who we believe was truly Heaven sent to walk with us through this time in our lives, our little furry angel.   We love you Meeka dog, mommy and daddy loves you!

Stork Landing! Just not our Stork.

Our agency,  among many across the world, received referrals of precious children today.  The CCCWA has matched children to families that have log-in dates through the 21st of September, 2006.  Although it was a little disappointing they didn't make it any further, at least referrals were sent and families are seeing their babies' faces for the first time.  Okay, enough with the patience stuff, let's hurry it up so they can start matching October, 'cuz November is our month!!!!!  No, sorry, not November this year.  I mean November is our log-in month- my projection for our referral is sometime between April to September of 2013.  Still gotta hang in there a while longer!

No news but a little speculation . . .

So last monday, our agency received referrals for families logged in through September 4th, 2006.  This was right about where I had expected things to be and it was good to see it wasn't any worse than anticipated: meaning fewer referral days.  In addition, on the Rumor Queen site today she stepped out and made some projections based on how things have fun the past year, as far as referrals go.  I'd been speculating that we would possibly get our referral sometime between April to September of 2013.  Okay, so don't boo hiss folks, we're not pouting- that only puts us a little over a year.
So after Rumor Queen had made her projections, (also based on the past year's referral numbers) she provided a best and worst case scenario so to speak.  So according to her we could receive a referral anywhere from next April 2013 to Jan 2014.  Okay, so the January thing totally stinks and deserves a major BOO HISS!  But that seems to be worst case, with CCCWA  referring only 4 days a month and I refuse to accept that (if only I had any sayso in the matter).  So now I'm gonna begin getting my mind and hienie in gear to get some baby things done.  I'll keep you posted as we do.  Like redo the high chair, buy a closet organizing system, research strollers/carseats, etc.  See, God knows I'm a planner and I like to think things through- He's just allowing me quite a while to ruminate on these matters, lol!

Jelly Bean Time

 No, not just because it's almost Easter.  Two years ago upon our 4th year LID Anniversary (11-27-2010) I devised this jelly bean jar as a visual representation of the number of LIDs we have left.  At the time, we had 193 LIDs in front o f us.  Each month when referrals come then I count the number of days referred and remove those beans from the jar.  I had gotten a little behind (since 7-2011) so yesterday I had quite a few jb's to remove.  So guess what folks, we're down to 83 LIDs before referral. Not calendar days!  Hold on, what this means is the CCCWA has referred families with a log-in-date of 8-31-06. So they must get through 9-1-2006 to 11-27-06.  Due to my laziness, let's just say we had a lot of jb's to eat!

Preparation . . .

Most expectant parents have about 9 months to prepare for the arrival of their baby.  On the other hand, we seem to have been given an endless amount of time to make our "nest".  We have purposely postponed a lot of baby-prep stuff just so we will have something to do as the time draws nearer.  We decided early on, about 4 months into the wait,  that we would wait to fix her room.  The thought of a decorated yet empty room was a little much for us.
The first few months of our wait, I jumped in and started collecting diapers and wipes that I could get on sale.  I made it a little game for myself- I looked for coupons and subscribed to formula companies like Similac and Enfamil to receive free samples.  I accumulated around 1097 diapers and Larry thought it was best I stop there, I agreed since that was a pretty good stockpile.  I also have a huge assortment of wipes and can't really give you a number there.  The funny thing, (I have to find humor in the wait), I had to give away all the formula because it was going to expire prior to our Little One's arrival and now the characters printed on the waistband of the diapers are not so popular or recognizable anymore.  I'm sure if anyone in our church nursery ever changes her, they'll think I bought the diapers at some on-line retro diaper emporium (if there ever was such a thing).
We have also participated in several Cyber-Baby Showers with two different yahoo groups on-line.  We would sign up in a database and then the moderator of the website would draw names and we would choose gifts according to themes and mail them within a certain time period.  We received everything from meal time items, blankets, pajamas, story books, bottles, towels, to stuffed animals, dresses, and matching shirts, pants, and sweaters as well as photo albums.  We've tried to resist buying much since we are unsure of her size and the season of  the year in which she'll come home.  But this year, may just be a year for a little retail therapy!!!!  We have bought a few things that were "irresistible" and we bought those in larger sizes or they were things that could be worn for a few different seasons.
We spent two weekends ago cleaning out the room we had designated as the computer/nursery/ home office/junk room.  We minimized and got rid of things, moved/relocated the computer and switched items around in the closets (still have more work to do in the closets though)  But we made a big dent in the task before us!  So this is how we are nesting and we will keep you updated as we go . . .

Adoption Lingo/Terms

Since I finished my "Friday's Frequently Asked Questions" series, I thought it might be time to try something else.  The questions are something we can always return to, but for now, I think I've exhausted the list of  the most frequent questions we've gotten. For now, I plan to provide some definitions of some terms I've been throwing around here or maybe ones you've heard us say.  So here goes . . .

Dossier (pronounced doss-ee-aye)- this is a compilation of all the documents we prepared to send to China, (two and a half months worth and weighing 3 pounds) it's a complete summarization of who we are.  Our birth certificates, marriage license, home study, fingerprint approval from BCI and Dept of Homeland Security,  financial disclosure, medical reports and doctor statements, photographs of us and our home, a letter requesting permission to adopt a baby from China and US approval to adopt(from USCIS) and copies of our passports.

LID (Log-in-Date) a registration date of when our dossier arrived and was registered at CCCWA in Beijing, China.  Our LID is 11-27-06.

CCCWA(previously the CCAA) China Center of Children's Welfare and Adoption.  This is the place that holds all the families' dossiers.  It's also the location in which the orphanages send the children's paperwork/files when they are ready for adoption.  This is a government run agency that oversees all the international adoptions in China.  It is also the place where all the magic happens!!!  This is where the Stork lives, if you will!  When the orphanages send the children's files to Beijing to CCCWA, they are then matched with the file/dossier of a waiting family, like us.  Each month they match files of families and children according to date and the number of children that are available.  They have currently matched families with an LID  through August 15, 2006 so next month they will begin with families with an LID of 8-16-06 and depending on the number of children available- that will determine how many LID days they will get through, ie, they may make it to 8-23-06 or 8-29-06 , just depends.

USCIS-(United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) this is of course the division of our government's department of homeland security that allows people to become citizens, legal aliens, naturalized citizens and legal immigrants among other things.  They are the ones on the US side that grant us permission to adopt a child who is a citizen of another country.  This is also the division of government that will approve our Visa's so we may travel to China to adopt our baby.  We have submitted paperwork to USCIS four different times, each approval we receive is good for 18 months, therefore; due to the length of time we've been waiting - we keep having to renew our paperwork and fingerprint approval.  And once again this fall, the fifth (and hopefully the final time)!.

Stork Alert- an e-mail sent by our agency, when it is time for referrals, to alert waiting families that  they may be receiving "the call"

Referral/Match- this is all the information that prospective adoptive parents wait for, no matter how long it takes! This will be the very first time we know who our baby girl is, what she looks like, and all  mystery of this precious Little Person is layed to rest.  This would be the equivalent of  when a mama sees her baby for the first time.  When our LID is at the top of the pile and the baby that God has prepared for us are both aligned by Him,- then it will be our turn and we will get our referral.  At that time, the CCCWA matches waiting parents and babies together and we will receive all our referral information.  We will be alerted to be on the "look-out" for the Stork and then we will be notified by phone and receive "the call".  At that time, we will be given her name, birth date, location of orphanage or foster care home, basic measurements and general health info as well as receive referral pictures via e-mail.  Within a day, depending on how quickly the Stork flies, (or the Fed-Ex person drives) we will receive more information about her medical history and more pictures.

This just scratches the surface for adoption lingo but these are the ones we use most often.  Once we receive our referral there will be new terms for you to learn, like LOA, PA, CA, TA, but that's enough for now.  Have a joyful weekend!

Friday's Frequently Asked Question No. 5 "Have you heard anything about your baby?"

This question is probably the most frequently asked question that we are asked!  I think it's because people want to know if there have been updates and are just not sure what to ask.  But this question is really twofold.  "Have you heard anything (about the adoption)?" and "Have you heard anything about your baby?"  Let me answer the latter first. Have we heard anything about the baby?  Well, this is gonna sound weird, but if there is no baby, then we aren't gonna hear anything about her .  WHAT?  No baby?!  What are you adopting?  I mean I thought you were adopting a baby?!   Okay, okay, slow down.  There will be a baby for us, but  we won't know anything about her until it's time for us to be matched with her, so therefore; there is nothing to "hear".  When the time comes, our agency will provide us with pictures, medical records, orphanage information, early developmental history, etc.  And when we "hear", you'll "hear".  Maybe not on- line, but if you live very close, you may just hear the squeals, screams, and laughter!!!

Now, back to the first question.  "Have we heard anything?" Yes, our agency, keeps us well informed.  We didn't just "sign-up" or call an 800 number and now we're being scammed as we sit blindly and naively in the dark.  Not like that!  Our agency provides us with multiple e-mails each month; just last week we received three. We can contact our agency anytime we want and they are always quick to respond to e-mails and phone calls.  They are there to provide information, support, and updates.  We even have our own referral counselor that is assigned to our case and we know Beth by her first name.  Our agency also provides updates  regarding any US and/or Chinese governmental changes.  We will soon be taking on-line classes that are provided by our agency.  We can also connect with other waiting parents from our agency via yahoo groups and on-line forums.   So yes, we do "hear" things and communication is very open.  We just don't always share all the info because, frankly you'd be bored and not understand the majority of it.  No offense, adoption lingo can be complicated.  Let's be honest, when you ask, you mostly just want to know when we'll be bringing our Little One home- you don't care about log-in dates, paperwork renewal, home studies, USCIS fingerprinting, referrals, or stork landings.    So we spare you the details, and in the meantime, you probably think we've been lead astray by some hokey scam and we've sent all kinds of money to the Chinese government-for a baby we'll never see- that couldn't be further from the truth.  So when we share very little detail, it's really to spare you from all the boredom.  But rest assured, when we finally hear about the baby, you'll be the first to know!
Have great weekend everyone.  Feel free to leave a comment or ask any questions.  

Friday's Frequently Asked Question No. 4: "Why is it taking so long?!"

Well, my canned answer for a little over 5 years has been, "it's all in God's timing"  And I still believe this, we both do.  Repeating this aloud sometimes makes the wait a little more bearable, but truly, it's  hard, very hard.  Although I know I serve a loving and sovereign God, I still have an earthly mind that prevents me from understanding the reason for the incredibly long wait.  HIS ways are not our ways.  But I can offer some insight into the logistics of the whole slowdown and why it appears we're on a "slow boat to China".   You see, China has been open to international adoption since 1993, the year we were married.  Overall it has been a very predictable and safe country from which people could choose to adopt.  China does not have any hidden fees, surprises, government corruption or unannounced closures in their adoption program.  China has never closed their adoption program, unlike Guatemala, Vietnam, and Russia, to name just a few.  I say this because, despite all the political and economical turmoil in our world, China's international adoption program has remained constant.  So why such a long wait when they are so safe and predictable?  Well, sorry to make this analogy, and I am definitely not equating adoption to shopping, that's sick!  But I'm going to try to put it in terms you may understand.  Why do you shop where you shop?  You don't shop from a source that is known to scam it's customers or not treat them right or to jack up the price when you get to the check-out.  You shop from a reputable store because you are comfortable the way they do "business".  Let's say you and a gatrillion other people decide you want the same "item" and you've all looked around and decided that this store (again, remember this is only an example- no disrespect intended) is the best "store" to obtain your item/product.  If everybody trusts the store and shows up at the same time to "shop" there's not going to be enough of the product to go around.  Basic supply and demand folks.  And let me tell you, there is no amount of fussing, complaining, stomping your feet, or talking to the manager that will make it happen any quicker.  You are in a line, a long line, two options, stay in line or go to another store.  If God doesn't  send you to the other store, you don't go.  You stay in line. You wait your turn.  When we started the process, we were told we'd have a wait time of 10-12 months, based on the statistics at that time.  As we completed out paperwork in the next 2 1/2 months then the wait grew to 15-18 months.  So we started the process with  a year and a half wait.  The process slowed even more because, let's face it folks, if the item you want, in a store, on-line, or in a catalog is not in stock, that means it's NOT AVAILABLE.  You CAN NOT GET IT until it becomes available. So that is the waiting part, and hopefully while you're waiting in line, you make friends, you read something interesting, chew some gum,  learn patience,  and hopefully learn something about yourself too so when you finally get to the front of the line, you're prepared for what God blesses you with. 

Returning to Blogdom (Blogging kingdom) . . .

or I guess I could call it a Bloggerhood or a Blogmunity, Whatever, it's you folks, out there, that I am communicating with you in my blogging circle.   So sorry I've been away for a while; life, everyday business, boredom, lack of motivation, and the holidays have all kept me away.  But I'm back and hope to make posts at least on a weekly basis.  If you're new, please scroll to the bottom to begin reading the posts in June.  This is a place for me to share news about our adoption and general life happenings as we await the arrival of our Little One.  Chinese Lunar New Year occurs on January 23 of this year- only a few days away and Chinese communities will be celebrating and welcoming the YEAR of the DRAGON!!!! It is very likely that she will be born this year, so yes folks, we're gonna have a Dragon on our hands.  All you people who mock and comment about us spoiling her, well, . .  you may be getting a little lesson in dragon taming yourself!  Have a great day everyone- very icy here this morning - won't be headed out until it thaws, (Meeka fell off the porch when going out for her morning stroll).