It was a day a lot like today, heavy rains at time and hot, very humid too just like all our days in China. I had chosen the outfit she'd wear this day long before we went to China. It was an outfit my Mom and I had bought in March on our first shopping trip for Delaney. We didn't buy it to be "the outfit" but it just sorta fit. For one, it had long pants and a hooded shirt. Not that she needed it, it was so hot, but yet the Chinese don't believe children should be exposed despite sweltering heat and obvious sweating. We were cautioned the night before that it would "cool down" and to make sure we brought warm clothes for her. Cool down to maybe the low '90's, are you kidding? I didn't care if the rain dropped the temps by 50 degrees, I'd been happy! But as directed we went on a special shopping spree to buy her a sweater, yeah, you read that right. And that experience is a story for a different day.
So we dressed warmly and got in the van with our guide and driver after our traditional breakfast at our Xi'an Ramada. I stared out the window as we traveled and couldn't help it; but I kept crying. Delaney slept and Larry and I both stared out the foggy windows into the rain. I couldn't help but think that the rain was appropriate this day as myself and the Heavens wept for this little girl. We were about to see where her life began and the only traceable part of her history we could ever know. I was so thankful she was with us and not going back and not going to grow up without parents. She had us now, whether she liked it or not. Maybe some day she'd figure out we're not too bad. Or would she hate us forever for taking us from the only life she knew. We looked different, sounded different, acted different, and maybe smelled different from anyone she'd ever known. How uncomfortable she must be. But right then, she was comfortable, sleeping in my arms with her little headband with the Chinese character for Love embroidered on one side. That was my touch, I thought and hoped the orphanage would find us respectful of their culture.
We arrived and were greeted eagerly and warmly as they ushered us out of the van and the rain. I was escorted to the director's office where I could stay with Delaney as Larry toured the facility. He and our guide took lots of wonderful pictures of her shared room, her crib, her nannies, her play area and beautifully decorated hallways where she likely traveled to get from room to room. We decided it was probably best she not see her old playmates, and living quarters, maybe just too much emotion or possible fear that she was returning. I stayed with Delaney alone in the office as nannies popped in and out calling her name and smiling and waving. She was already overwhelmed from entering the building and seeing some old faces and was terribly upset. I wanted the ladies to see her and vice versa but my heart hurt for her as I didn't know if she was scared or fearful or just wanted things to be the way they were, without us.
Larry and our guide returned and not a moment too soon, she'd already drunk her yogurt and I'd tried to entertain her with every toy in my bag. We had been looking out the window at a garden they'd planted in the courtyard and it was still pouring. So I had made a song to distract her, "corn, and bamboo, corn and bamboo, and rain came runnin' down the sidewalk". Yep, clever, huh? Not too melodic but it got us through.
One very touching thing that we were able to do was to have the nannies and orphanage director write a personal message to her in a book we'd taken, it was also the book that we put our official thumbprints and her footprint in on adoption day. Our guide later translated the sentiments so we will have those for her when she's older.
The orphanage was extremely clean and very bright and colorful. There was also a very pretty playground and fountain outside as well. I am pleased she was living in such a nice place and the staff were very kind and obviously cared a lot about her by the number that came to see her and the way we were received. Even the little ones in her room were brought to a balcony area to wave goodbye. So hard to see, but such a joyful little group of children. Could they even comprehend what was happening? Delaney was held by many of them that came to see her but quickly wanted to return to Mama, thank goodness! Honestly that made my heart a little fearful each time someone held her, what if she didn't want me back? There are other details from the day as we later drove further into the city, and there was a lot of emotion and some turning points that day but not all details are meant to be shared. This is all part of her story, I'm sharing parts I don't think she'd mind to share. But I want to protect her and her privacy, as she matures the rest will be at her discretion. Now for some pics . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment