Friday's Frequently Asked Question No. 3 "How much does it cost?"

Well now, if you're asking this question because you are considering adoption, then I can point you to a number of websites so you can seriously inquire yourself.  There are lots of adoption agencies that would be glad to talk to you, many countries are currently open to international adoption.  Although domestic adoption is not where the bulk of my knowledge lies, I could get you started with some places to begin your research  or simply check the web, there's lots of info out there.  Don't let the cost stop you if you feel a tug in your heart.  There are some financial assistance programs available to be utilized toward adoption through various agencies and church/mission organizations and probably one of the most well-know is Show Hope founded by Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman.  We didn't utilize any financial assistance programs merely because we believed God was leading us to this and He would provide our need.  And I will have to say, we normally do not have that kind of money in the bank but whenever we needed to send money to our agency, it was there. God is good and He provides- we also felt that it would be an exercise in faith- "If  He leads you to it, He'll lead you through it".   So now if you're wondering, no,  I'm not gonna give you a dollar amount of what the adoption has cost so far, that's personal, not that I mind sharing  and I may one day. But there are some questions that are just inappropriate.  How many friends have you asked how much they paid their gynecologist to deliver their baby or how much they paid for an epidural or what was their cost for in vitro.  Hmm, made ya think?  I know people are generally well-meaning/curious  when they ask questions like this but just because adoption is an uncommon topic, does not mean all info should be "open book".  If you're interested in adoption or in contributing to an orphan mission program then there are places available on the web for that.  So again, when you ask questions like this,  think about your reason for wanting the answer and how it may sound to an adoptive family.  Another thing, one HUGE question to AVOID and one that is terrible offensive  to prospective adoptive parents, . . . "How much did he/she cost?"  Uggh!  Seriously?  First off, adoption is not the equivalent of "buying" a child!  Secondly, the purchase of any person is considered human trafficking and is ILLEGAL!!!  Assuming an adoptive couple purchased a child is assuming they are involved in illegal activity and that is extremely offensive folks.  I will tell you this, all money we have spent on our adoption so far has been to our agency to guide us through the process, advocacy, and instruction.  You see there is a huge checks and balances system in place to ensure each country involved proceeds in an ethical and legal manner for the safety of the child/ren involved.  Aside from our agency, we have paid the majority of our money to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, Department of Homeland Security, and our home study agency.  We will not "pay" anyone in China for our baby.  We will  pay government fees to finalize the adoption in China,  for her health exam,  and for her Visa to return home, all part of the process.  So now, I will leave you with this thought, the money we have spent so far toward the completion of our adoption is minuscule in comparison to the emotional investment we feel to bring her home.  Our "cost" has not been monetary but one of heartache and longing, and our cost- both financially and emotionally is nothing compared to the price she is paying to live the first months of her young life without a momma and daddy to love her.  Thanks for listening.