Six months?!!

We got an e-mail from our agency Wednesday stating we should have a referral in six months. Six months? Really?  We are so close, but so far away! 

Our previous referral counselor left the agency and we’ve been given a new one and this was the first email we'd gotten from her.  Okay, so we are closing in on the 6 month mark but I’m hoping for more like 3-4.  Last year at this time we thought we’d get  a  referral  around July of 2013.  Nope.  Then around May we realized it would likely be November.  Then by August we figured it would move to the end of December (worst case scenario).  Now as we’re in the middle of October it looks like it could be March, ugh!!!!  I feel like a broken recording, we told people “it’ll be about 2 years” for about 3 years then we’ve said for the last year “it’ll be about a year”.  Now for the last 4 months we’ve said it would be around 3-6 months.  I’m sure no one thinks we can count!!!! 

This is tough.  CCCWA totally skipped September so now the arrival times of referrals are not even predictable.  What am I supposed to do with  the time I’m waiting?  I’m trying to be as productive and focused as possible and trying to “live in the moment” but I find myself wishing the weeks away hoping its time for referrals once again.  I don’t like being that way.  We are only guaranteed the present.  I need to remind myself of that.  Maybe focus on others more. 

Where are referrals?

It was  August 29^th since the  last batch of referrals were sent.   So where are they?  We, (meaning the two of us, our facebook group and most everyone in adoption cyberspace), thought referrals would come around the end of September.  Then nothing happened.  CCCWA and most every person in China was having national holiday from Oct 1st to Oct 8^th.  So we figured it would be at least then before we heard the first rumor.  Supposedly they (CCCWA) has been back to work about a week and a half and we haven’t heard anything, ugghh.  So it may be another week.  I sure hope this month and a half timeframe between referrals goes back to every month.  It’s hard to wait even 30 days, let alone longer when you really don’t know why they aren’t  being sent.  Nothing to do but wait, and wait, and wait.  Really thinking about some retail therapy, although we did buy a box of diapers on the 27^th of Sept to celebrate our 82 months of waiting.  Now, I would desperately love to have a  little person to wear those diapers!!!!!  

Do you smell that?

It stinks.  This wait stinks.  The closer we get, the longer we wait!   How can that even make sense?  There are fewer people logged in and fewer days between us and a referral, yet, we wait.  There was an ugly rumor that surfaced Friday that I really chose to ignore and didn’t seem well-founded.  However; today’s rumor is the same and it looks like CCCWA won’t be sending referrals before they leave for their National Day Holiday and will be out from  October  1^st to the 6^th.  Worse yet, the new rumor also states the  next batch of referrals may not come until mid to late October.  And even worse yet, looks like this may push our prospective December referral into February or March. UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH! 

On a lighter note, I will have more time off accumulated, and more money in the bank, and that will make our travel easier. BUT and that’s a BIG BUT, that means our child has to wait for us longer in an orphanage and our home remains without a child.  This hurts my heart. 

Jelly Bean/Referral Update

Here's  a peek at our jelly bean countdown jar.  Notice how on the August line I have the date as
11-10-10, oops, error on my part.  The CCCWA has now referred families with log in dates up to November 10th, of 2006.  Guess that means we are just 17 log in dates away!!!!!!  Slowing closing in on the big day!  

One thing I determined today, jelly beans in a jar for over two years are very much like the China adoption process, stuck and difficult to get any movement. These sugary little beans have now taken up residence in the jar and are sticking to the sides and changing colors!  Ever seen a gray jelly bean? Some of the beans were pink with blue and yellow and purple specks (Tutti Fruiti).  Supposedly those colors fade and bleed into the pink over time and make a very odd lavenderish grayish color of grossness, but yeah, just as sweet! Don't judge me, you would've tried it too, it's just a little harder than it was on the day they were bought (nearly 3 years ago)!
On a serious note, prayers tonight for our country and Syria as we are facing some sad and turbulent times.  I pray for those involved and the leadership of both countries. 

Dear Friends of Waiting Adoptive Moms . .

Neat article, please read, it's so very true. Just click on this link:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wymsel-/dear-friends-of-waiting-adoptive-moms_b_3795132.html

Rumors!!!!! What a wild ride!

Well, rumors of the next cut-off date began about two weeks ago, some were saying the 13^th, others possibly the 16^th.  I tend to be cautious and go with the 13^th, and supposedly an agency received referrals last week through the 13^th but no one has shared any info yet to confirm this, ie, pics of babies or referral info.  Our facebook buddies in Europe haven’t seen anything either but are hearing similar rumors.  Now today, rumors are buzzing about the 16^th or the 22^nd!  Geesh!  Still nothing concrete.   Some agencies have contacted their next group of parents to obtain additional info in seeming anticipation of a referral.  Guess we wait and watch, its’ been nearly two weeks since the first rumors started flying, so I guess that’s why they call them rumors.   In some ways I’m sorta glad we’re not expecting a referral in this batch  because this up and down stuff has been maddening for so many.  Yet, I’ve been stalking all our usual internet sites multiple multiple multiple times a day just to get the latest.  I’m so anxious for these next referrals, then we’ll have an even better idea of how the next few months are gonna look. We’ll know if we’re next next next next or possibly just next next! 

Feeling very anxious today . . .

It’s not exactly time for any rumors to surface yet but some friends on our facebook group in Europe are hearing the possibility of the 16^th as the cut-off.  Oh my, that’s a huge jump covering 10 days and several families in our group.  Whoo, I can hardly breathe when I think about it.  I don’t look for referrals to make it that far; not that I’m being pessimistic, just realistic.  I really think the cut-off will be some where around the 10^th or 12^th .  But IF they do make it that far, the 16^th, then that puts us a WHOLE lot closer.  Woo Wee.  They say that the last few months of waiting are so much more difficult and I’m starting to see its true.  We are so close yet could be as much as 6 months away.  Wow, how does one process that?!  21 log-in-days but potentially 6 months to make it there,.  I’m at least thankful that the next few months offer some holidays as distractions; and we have  fun things planned in the upcoming  months.  I’ve been reading more about the country and attachment/ development and I  need to learn a little more Chinese.      Lots to do!!!!!