3 months since "Gotcha Day"

Three months ago today on August the 3rd., we got up early and left the airport in Beijing to board a plane for Xi'an, China.  We arrived, gathered our luggage, and  met our new guide, Sherry.  Looking back, she was the best guide we had for our entire trip and by far had the toughest job.  She coordinated everything for us and was such a huge help.  She went to three different banks to exchange our money, went to multiple stores to find Delaney's formula and ordered lunch for us several days.  Small things to some but they meant so much to us in a country with a language barrier and a new child.  We really had very little time to unpack, relax, or clear our minds.  Sherry took us to Burger King where we had our last meal as just a couple of two.  We had a few moments to get some things together, our bag with a few snacks and a sippie cup, a blanket and lovie doll, and a book.  None of it mattered in hindsight since she wasn't interested in anything we brought.  We took our gifts and paperwork, camera and ipad.
We arrived at the building where the civil affairs  office was housed in what seemed like just a few minutes but it was about a half an hour.  We were the only family there and we went in and took a few pictures of the room and sat nervously on a black leather couch.  Another small child walked in and then exited the room as the orphanage workers were told the family adopting her had not arrived yet. We had barely recovered from that "false alarm" when in walked our Delaney.

 Quiet, hesitant, pausing at every step dragging a pillow with our picture on it, she met us and we knelt in the floor with her.  She looked at us with no expression, some subtle swaying, the kind you get from trying hard to stand very still.  The tears came and we just let her cry.  They rolled quickly down her cheeks as one of the nannies kept wiping them away and shaking her arm telling her to stop crying and that we are her "mama" and "baba".  Easier said than done.   I remember touching her shirt and shoes, commenting and then touching her little arm and then her hand.  I was thinking I should be the one wiping her tears as I'm her Mom, but a part of me just knew she needed to cry and I wanted to allow her that- she was brave but so broken-hearted. Her little world was changing and she didn't know what to make of it.  I eventually picked her up and the crying continued.  There are many details here and thoughts but I'll reserve those for Delaney.